Vince Cable, David Cameron and some other wankers

The Daily Telegraph's recent undercover reportage of Vince Cable and some other twats letting slip how shit the UK's coalition government really is must have truly taken its toll.  Vincey boy should have continued with his loss of dignified aplomb (also known as political bollox) and really gone to town and told David "limp wrist" Cameron to go fuck himself.  Let's face it, the current coalition government is about as useful to the UK public as lecturing a whore with the clap about the dangers of venereal sores - pretty fucking pointless.

Vince Cable in his trademark hat weathering the current political climate.

It's the way that Liberals and Conservatives are trying to convince us that they've all been smoking some sort of political peace pipe which instantly dissolves decades of political indifference. Well if this is the correct analogy to apply they must be smoking some pretty bad shit, man! 

One the Telegraph's undercover reporters sporting the disguise that dropped the guards of Liberal politicians.

America's New Gay Army: who's watching your back?

The Broke Back Mounting Division's new weapon. Generals are currently considering how artillery that fires 40" dildos will fit into current tactics.

President Obama's recent decision to let openly gay people into the US military has raised a few eyebrows, and some other parts of the human anatomy.  New military regulations to be introduced include:

1. The US Army will be renamed Dorothy's Fan Club.

2. Jean-Paul Gautier will be in charge of redesigning uniforms.  

   (We understand shorts will feature heavily.)

3. Liza Minnelli's ex-husband, David Guest, will be made a General.

4. Naked Wednesdays.

5. Butt-plug inspections.

6. Shower buddy drill to be implemented.

First photos of the new crack special forces unit called the Rock Hudson Brigade.

 

 

 

Muzzle covers for Dorothy's Fan Club (formally the US Army) have yet  to be tested in combat.

 

Justin Bieber sucks cock

Yes that’s right sports fans, the favourite wet dream for practically every pubescent girl, Justin Bieber, likes dick.  Justin’s gayness recently came to light with his choice of a new manager: the 49 year old singer, songwriter and all-round shit-stabbing arse bandit, Boy George.

                                         (Boy George bought a new outfit to 

                                         celebrate signing the teen cock lover)

His outgoing manager, Scooter Braun, was believed to have said: “I just wish that I left the little cock-sucker on YouTube where I found him and gone with the ice-skating chimp instead.  The ape was way fucking cleverer than that Canadian fudge-packer.”    

Every since being released from jail in May 2009 for imprisoning a male escort (he’s so fucking ugly he needs to pay for it), Boy George has been looking for new challenges.  It’s supposed to have taken him a while to convince Justin to join his management team, Arse Ticklers, Faggots Fan Club.  Booze, rohypnol and amyl nitrate helped a bit, but in the end a big throbbing cock was only required.

Boy George has a few projects in the pipeline.  Seeing as Justin can’t sing for shit, he’s being lined up for a gay version of a Harry Potter film, Harry Poker and a Goblet of Cum, whereby Justin/Harry is supposed to do unorthodox things with his wand.